Episode 65: Thanksgiving

Swirly is taking a break for the weekend.
In this trick, Swirly casts a spell and rids the world of turkeys forever, performing the ultimate Thanksgiving miracle. Right?

Episode 64: The Road to Graceland

Getting down to Tennessee is tough these days. What with apocalypse and all.

Episode 63: Remembrance of Things Past

What is life but a collection of fond memories. Join our lovable bastard for a round of anecdotes that will keep your body warm well through the holiday

Episode 62: A Plea

Please love me. I'm so beautiful and fragile. Swirly, you'll never win, your voice is nearly illegible.

Episode 61: Fate

You know what my fate isn't? Being well received. This could have been made funny by adapting an actual John Rambo quote, but instead it is bitter and hateful. I love it.

Episode 60: XYZ

Swirly goes Chicago style in this to-be Enzyte commercial.

Episode 59: Let's Get Dangerous

What so dangerous? Basing a comic around Darkwing Duck and Nabokovian poetry references. The joke is pretty lame even if you understand it, so don't waste your time here.

Erase Your Fear!

Never fear! More Swirly is yet to come. Just not yesterday and probably not today either. Turn your inner eye to see beyond how stupid this all is.

Episode 58: It Is.

Watch behind the scenes, where the smartest scientists in the world (like our man) are bought out by television writers to experiment with comedy.

Episode 57: Sun-Drenched Mel, O.D.

Listen to some college kid verbally masturbate. Got any hot shots?

WHY? WHY?

Why would i do this to myself? even i don't know. yay work is over!

Episode: 56: Confessions of a Chocolate Ball Lick

Adapting the story of the Garden of Eden, we witness the unbirthing of retail sales and abject vanity with a padantic murderer

Episode 55: Banger in the Mouth

In this film, Swirly learns about the connections between hell, jail, pot and oral.

Episode 54: How I Met Your CBS Sitcom Mother

These shows are so bad that they cannot be parodied well because then you'd have to watch them, and if you watched them you'd never want to do anything creative ever again cause you'd scratch your eyes out and hope that anything you did was never, ever as shitty as that shit.
In this comic, Swirly plays jailkeeper to a couple of tv freak hasbeens

Episode 53: Minotaur Decade

These people are so shitty they don't even deserve recognition. Plus, you should have already forgotten about this trendy, transient bullshit anyway. Shit though, these guys are as predictable as calendars.

CREATE EPISODE_52 "SWIRLY MANIFESTO" END

The Swirly Manifesto 1982 is a prelude to the arts and culture of Swirly and the future. It is riddled with copyright infringement that no one would ever want to enforce

Episode 51: Vanity Bared

Idiots. A second pun on Vanity Fair. Seriously, Thackeray is pissed and will come back from the dead to kill anyone who reads this. Oh, and xkcd is really faggy (and less funny than this unfunny comic)

Episode 50: Doug, Steve, Jeff and Me: Three-Headed Boy

The flower, the moose, the gun. Perfection, animal, man-made destructive beauty. Which is at play here, who is dominant? Why delay the inevitable 50?

Episode 49: Bananas

After escaping a palpable infinity, Swirly returns to the office and attempts a bold pen throw. Yes, thats a pen. Bugger off.

Episode 48b: Fire

What does your soul look like? Where does it go when it's vacuumed out by a demon? The story of the afterlife, told here, by some pale fire (d'oh)

Episode 48a: Lost Fire

Summoned for jury duty, Swirly waits and makes pleasant talk with the staff, who seem to like wearing black cloaks and don't have any skin.

Episode 47: Laziness

They all aren't winners, believe you me. sometimes you just don't feel like drawing, but have an obligation to feed the unruly masses. this site is now getting 70k+ hits per day. chew on this you internet entertainment seekers. (actual internet episode to come later)

Episode 46: Hollywood

A faithful Hollywood adaption of a foreign feature finds Swirly blissfully full after a fine meal.

Episode 45: Hippy Wounds

Here in some sewer of America, a crippled veteran tells the children about war, love for jesus, and heroin withdrawl.

Episode 44: Germans

In Germany, Swirly sings Radiokopf. He was nominated for 12 grammys, losing to David Hasselhoff all 12 times.

Episode 43: Do Something Pretty While You Can

Why did he do it was he scared? Was he bored?

Episode 42: This Doesn't Go Anywhere

Let the title be more of a warning than a description. (One of these days Malkmoose will die and Pavement references will disappear along with him). Whoops wrong post

Episode 41: Dumb "Jokes"

Being narrator/editor of a fan-created comic is a difficult job. It is even more difficult to keep out the riff-raff and sometimes a comic like this slips through the cracks

Episode 40: Art

I hope I get paid for this

Episode 39: Eau de Fagot

Alter ego John Swirly reappears to have vengence on men who smell like women

Episode 38: Take Two

Rebounding from a shitty taste in his mouth, Swirly rinses out the bile and brushes his teeth

Episode #Div/0!

COMPUTER GENERATED MESSAGE:
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Episode 37: First Blood

Steaming with nationalist pride, Swirly escapes from prison but is later flanked by his former superior officer Colonel Trautman. I think we all know what happens from there

The Portrait of Swirly as a Young Man

hello legions of hysterical fans! thank you for your time and patience while swirly goes out to dinner in philadelphia and doesn't get home from work until so late that he just falls asleep.

Episode 36: Analog Possibilism

Dude, have you heard the new Vampire Weekend?
Yeah, of course, man
But have you heard it on wax yet???

Episode 35: The Banality of Crime

Witness the youth of our age grab control of the market and the pain of foreclosures by taking it from the man!

Episode 34: Polemic Narcissicism

Its funny when everything has gone so wrong that it becomes right again

Episode 33: Results

America has overcome everything!

Episode 32: Episode 28 Revisited

In this desolate row, this barren and dry life, Swirly remembers what makes life livable

Episode 31: You Shall Know Our Veracity!

It's election day in Squigville. Something smells bad. Its definately not old pork. (Pretend the AND isn't in the title)

Episode 30: Shampoo or Conditioning?

While buying dog shampoo, Swirly finds himself compulsively reaching for a slim jim at the register

Episode 29: ...From a Mile Away

I think the title here says it all. Swirly is a veritable fake-celebrity magnet. Note the continuation error.

Episode 28: For the Kids

A preachy Swirly explains to Norman Mailer how children's entertainment has changed through the years, being that Mailer reached full maturity at age 13. Why are you reading this? Isn't Doodlebops on?

Episode 27: Objective Media

In this poorly titled feature, Swirly meets legendary author-come-circular Norman Mailer, who arrives advertising dreidls and yarmulkes. The last word that you can't read is medium (literally med-ium).

Episode 26: The Lost Generation

An adaptation of Hemingway's memoir, Swirly meets F Scott Fitzgerald and ends up driving to Manhattan on the hottest day of the summer. Gertrude Stein did not validate this usage. Notice how my pen stops working at the end.

Episode 25: King, Queen, Knife

Here we find Mr Vivian Badlook (or is it Vivian Darkbloom) taking a snapshot of the life of Franz, Martha and of course Kurt Dreyer. It's something that I hope to finish reading before its due back at the library again.

Episode 24: Ulysses

Here Swirly meets arch rival James Joyce. They discuss difficult reads and the notorious 21st chapter of A Clockwork Orange where Alex reaches maturity.